C.A.R.E.

Love suffers long and is kind;

Love does not envy;

Love does not parade itself;

is not puffed up.

1 Corinthians 13 - 4

If every self confessed christian followed this section of the Pauline epistle to the Corinthians we would be able to change communities and eventually countries, but there is little evidence of this. 

A recent newspaper article bemoaned the standard of care afforded a relative in a very modern multi purpose facility for the elderly with the obvious intention of naming and shaming the establishment which for the most part specialized in residents with dementia.   This is a fast growing problem with a huge elderly demographic.   

The problem of dealing with elderly folk with dementia includes caring for both the gentle and aggressive.   Any age group can suffer the side effects of prescription drugs and many old people have a daily regime of pill popping.  Coping with failing health, depression, loneliness and the sheer frustration of a body that "won't cooperate with instruction"  they can become frustrated, difficult and at times plain nasty.

An article in a daily broadsheet this week suggested many children did not want their parents living in their home and the journalist suggested it was a self, self, self generation.   Not that I disagree with her comment but I would go further and say we shouldn't cobble everyone together in our criticism.

There are two clearly defined groups.   Those who would benefit from an inheritance and those who would have to pay top-up fees.   

The first group stand to benefit from the eventual sale of their parents home.   However should a widow or widower be considered for a care home the amazing weekly rates would soon absorb any capital and then their children would lose that inheritance.    Sadly many turn a blind eye hoping their Mum or Dad will quietly slip away in between their infrequent visits.   

The top-up fees would be resented especially if the elderly parent with just a state pension continued to live into their nineties or even one hundred years plus.   Apparently there is funding available in the U.K.   NHS Continuing Healthcare Funding.   Can you imagine the queue to get that and how long before the pot runs dry?  

Sometimes families live on the other side of the world.   Elderly people would not wish to move to an unfamiliar environment at their time of life and hopefully at this point one can only hope the real care system kicks in and they are fortunate enough to have "caring carers"

Many children who still live and work in the same area as their parents ultimately become sole carers.    They genuinely love their parents and would gladly nurse them in their own homes until the very end.

Here the word "love" comes into play because without "love" and a genuine desire to care for their aging parent it becomes  a chore and without "love"  a grudging burden, sadly the end result is often the elderly are abused by their own families both physically and financially.   

The ethos of caring is simple enough:

C -     Concern - anxious - involved in the welfare of others.

A -     Always ready to help regardless of age, gender or race.

R -     Respect - sadly lacking - many ignore the wisdom of their elders.

E -     Empathy - the ability to understand another's feelings and their situation. 

In this SELF generation the goal is for the here and now.

In his book "God Tells the Man who Cares" (first published in 1993) A.W. Tozer suggests "men looked forward to heaven as a return from the war fought in this world, to peace at last and a home prepared and waiting" (paraphrased) surely that is what the true child of God expects and lives for.  In old age there is a quiet peace and longing for our eternal home.

He considered men now think of the world as their playground, we are here to enjoy ourselves and we should live life to the full and he goes further saying they might deny this assertion but their conduct says otherwise.

If we consider what our fathers believed that sin, hell and the devil exist and that we are accountable to God.    If we live according to the Word then we are against the way of this world and our lives will be a battlefield.

We might also consider that how we treat the elderly, sick, orphan and homeless is a witness to an unbelieving world.   The command is to "love" our neighbour and even our enemies.   Tozer also suggested that if we are on God's side in this world our fight is until the end.  Quite what Tozer would think of our present world only heaven knows,  he has surely earned his place there.

We all face a bleak future in a world without  "love"   Perhaps if we took responsibility for the hands that rocked our cradle and cared for us it might just lessen the burden on the state system.  But there is another side to the equation, many elderly parents would refuse that option preferring independence, determined to hold it together until their number is called.  They pray daily for the strength and ability to cope with one day at a time.   And He answers.

SHALOM